My hands are shaking as I sit down to make the call. I’ve listened to the message about five times. I had to make sure I heard her right. She wants me to call her back to discuss relocation and living arrangements… I think that means I got the job.
The butterflies feel more like birds in my stomach.
This is it. The selection process was tough, and I could have done without the hour and a half long Skype interview, or the disapproval I received from some people in my life…but if they want me then it’s all worth it.
The bench I’m sitting on is positioned right outside of the coffee shop. I told my friend I would be right back, it’s the first object I saw and needed the support. I can see her looking at me through the window. Our drinks have arrived and she’s pouring cream into our cups. I wonder if I’ll have to tell her I’m leaving next week.
The laughter from two nearby kids brings me back from my daze. I have put off returning the call long enough.
I dial the long distance number.
One ring, two rings, three.
“Hello, this is Amber.”
“Hi Amber, it’s Ashlyn Peterson calling.”
“Ashlyn! Great! I was wondering when we’d hear from you again. How do you feel about temporarily moving to Edmonton?”
* * * *
The moment I got offered an internship position with The Works, my life shifted.
I bet reading this now, you think I accepted the position. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.
I may always wonder what could have been, or what I could have done, but declining the position has set me up for where I am now. Yes, that’s probably a cliches (I have a bad habit of using them).
Instead of spending my summer being apart of the festival’s communication team, I went back to another summer at my previous employer. Working full-time in an office may not be glamorous, but it was a choice I made.
From time to time I think about the experiences I would have been apart of. I think about the independence I might have developed and the opportunities I may have gained if I moved two provinces away.
But then I think about the reasons why I said no. I think about the memories I have from that summer, like spending every Wednesday night on the sand reconnecting with a sport I was once devoted to. Or going to a local concert with friends and spending the night dancing with the crowd.
It makes me realize that the bitterness I once felt, has disappeared. I’m ok with the choice I made.